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--- transiency_maja_kuzmanovic [2017-02-05 10:55] – maja
+++ transiency_maja_kuzmanovic [2017-02-15 12:34] – maja
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 ==== February 2017 ====
+=== Week 53 ===
+I wanted to end my fallow year up north, in the cold and dark of the long winter night. The Nordic penchant for darkness and intensity soothes my senses and sensibilities. So does the acceptance of the mysterious, otherworldly or magical. The "unknowable" is simply a part of everyday life. It’s suffused in the landscape, which gleams in the stark and unrelenting beauty of solitude.
+I wanted to be immersed in dim surroundings that would invoke one more deep dive of introspection. Once I submerged myself deep enough to find a place of raw honesty, I wanted to look over the insights I collected over the last year, to see what emerged as promising directions. Instead of darkness though, I encountered a continuously changing light. From the breathtakingly intense colours of dawn and twilight (each lasting about three hours), through the many hues of water, snow and ice, the wabi-sabi colours of the vegetation, to the luminous moonlight and the eerie northern lights. The darkness was fiercely luminous.
+{{::l1029578.jpg?500 |}}
+The crisp light in the north was not just awe inspiring but also completely 'absorbent'. I witnessed all of my carefully laid out plans dissolving into the landscape. Instead of deep contemplation, I experienced the most profound stillness. A state of absolute presence, an active passivity which is for me the epitome of being fallow. I spent hours gazing out of windows, viscerally experiencing timelessness of each moment. The thoughts and worries - which were still just as present - seemed to glide off me like water off a seal’s coat. After a few futile attempts at resistance (consisting of opening my computer and editing text), I surrendered and let go. I ended my fallow year by being utterly fallow.
+The last day the sky descended so low as to be indistinguishable from the sea, obliterating all colours into dark shades of grey. As the darkness grew, so I began turning inward. Many memories rose to the surface, with as many emotions in tow. I watched them play out, a syncopated movie in slow motion. The directionless flow punctuated by daily rituals, seasonal observances, intimate celebrations and subdued mournings. A melancholy sense of loss entwined with gratitude.
+I ended my pondering on the fallow year with the aftertaste of gratitude. To myself, to the core team of FoAM bxl and other foamies near and far, to our funders and clients, members and friends and to all of the mysterious forces of the universe for conspiring to make this year happen. It was far from perfect - and far from perfectly fallow - but it was necessary and it was valuable. I began the year rather depleted. I can’t say that I’m coming out of it completely refreshed and energised, but at least when I look forward I see more possibilities than obstacles.
+The fallow rhythm allowed me to crystallise insights that were dormant under the surface in the previous years of living with dis-ease on both medical and professional fronts. I’m going to leave them scattered as shimmering crystals. In lieu of a summary, I’d like to end this entry with some of the questions that arose  in the past year, to guide me in the next phase of inquiry:
+  * How to thrive in uncertainty?
+  * When faced with uncertain or difficult situations, how to "stay with the trouble", rather than fight, flight or freeze? From a place of openness and awareness, how to discern and cultivate promising alternatives to the status quo?
+  * How to move from the politics of surviving to a culture of thriving?
+  * How to tackle wicked problems in a complex, turbulent world?
+  * How to consciously live in perpetual states of transition (as individuals, organisations, societies)?
+  * How to "weaponise" prototyping futures (e.g. as a tactic of resistance to a fear-mongering litany, among other things)?
+  * How to hold space for embodied learning of complex, systemic phenomena (e.g. the effects of climate change)?
+  * How to design experiences for immersion and absorption in the thick present and the long now?
+  * What kinds of experiences stimulate contemplation and celebration?
+  * What experiences encourage wonder and wandering?
+  * What (new) myths and belief systems could foster alternatives to the current culture of fear (including fear of impermanence and the "other")?
+  * How to translate animist or mystical attitudes towards interconnectedness of all life into worldviews compatible with techno-materialist societies?
+  * What kinds of relationships between human and non-human worlds could be cultivated in an era of mass-extinction? What parallel arts, sciences or technologies become possible if we widen the sentience spectrum?
+-> //On a more "meta level": Which of these questions are most relevant to explore? What would I/we need to be able to answer these questions? What does the next action research cycle look like? In which contexts, cultures and environments to explore these questions? Etc.//
+Warmed by the curious glow of possible answers, I’m taking my leave of the fallow year…
+<blockquote>
+To see a world in a grain of sand,\\
+And a heaven in a wild flower,\\
+Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,\\
+And eternity in an hour.\\
+-//[[http://www.artofeurope.com/blake/bla3.htm|William Blake]]//
+</blockquote>
+{{>http://www.flickr.com/photos/deziluzija/32895023645/}}
+More //transient// images can be found [[https://www.flickr.com/photos/deziluzija/albums/72157672406688516|on flickr]]
 === Week 52 ===