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--- transiency_rasa_alksnyte [2016-04-19 14:11] – rasa
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 This page is the informal log of my transiency process, in reverse chronological order.
+May-5 June
+This week i can tell more of what i didn't do than i did.
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+I didn't take a train ( there was a strike of public transport)
+I didn't leave my home/garden for 7 days ( the weather was really bad too).
+I didn't talk to anyone els than my family.
+I didn't write emails except for 2 emails concerning rental. In fact i almost managed not to open my computer at all.
+I didn't take almost any pictures ( with the rain and storms the light didn't look right)
+I didn't use electricity for almost one entire day (due to the extreme amount of water falling down our electrical system gave up...)
+I've spend most of the time sleeping, reading, researching topics that i just read about,trying out a new set of physical exercises, having coffee or tea in the garden even if it rained, drying rose petals, making elderflower syrup, cooking nice dinners and so on...
+I have to say after week like this my head is so empty and light that i can hear radishes growing and clouds passing by...
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+-29 May
+As one of the last "must do" things for FoAM this year is hosting and catering for the events. This time almost the entire week. No mater how well i prepare for thees things there is always the unexpected present. This time is the Internet failure. Not our fault but how to explain that to the clients? And how to avoid high costs of letting them to use my phone connection as a hotspot?
+Another thing that strike me - as more "resilient" and "holistic community" based people guiding their events at FoAM as harder it is for them to except me as a person and not as a job title (in this case coffee lady or a cook). By some reason it is very hard to believe that person that serves coffee and food can be worth talked to normally and not treated like a lower thing...The opinion does change after two or three days...Interestingly it almost never happens with people from EU commission or elsewhere. I wonder why?
+On the other hand this week i took lots of pictures from the train in the early morning. A moving line of the landscapes. There is something magic about those horizontal lines...
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+Some moving landscape pictures i double exposed with plant shots
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+-22 May
+Spring really is my season. Vibrant colours, explosions of scent, eyes piercing hundreds shades of green.
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+Stand in the middle of the garden
+Breath in all the sweet scent until you lungs expands till maximum
+Stretch you arms side ways and turn the hand palms upwards
+Close your eyes and keep you breath till you feel dizzy
+Breath out and let all you worries go
+Then pick up one leave of lady's mantel and wash your face with morning dew.
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+-15 May
+Last days of Kunst in de Keuken. It has been a very pleasant trajectory with both classes. It is difficult to measure the success in such things and i can't even imagine how much impact it does on the kids.The only measure  i can see is the personal attachment of them to me and their engagement in the activities. To end the trajectory both classes met at FoAM. 39 kids + 3 teachers and us 3 hosts of the workshops.This time i involved Ingrid for the first time. It worked very well. She brought a new angle to the activities and helped to finalise all my talks about ecological side of food production and our eating habits.
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+And now i feel i can really dive into the transiency. No more engagement with concrete projects.I can choose from day to day what to do with my time. Still looking forward to be completely free from the emails. At the moment it is still necessary to follow up rentals and so.I have the impression that rentals are picking up.There are more requests and curiosity.
+The week ended with a nice and easy lecture workshop about complexity with Julian Still.It brought back some memories of two or three years ago. He came then to give a talk about systemic constellations and as an example we did an exercise on FoAM network.I remember how it made us all at FoAM BXL think about heaviness and responsibility misbalance within the network. But thinking back now i feel many things are changing towards something good. Somehow our complex organisation is becoming more transparent, honest and lighter.
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+-8 May
+Every year around this time our old cherry starts blossoming. I can't resist sitting under it and reading trough A.Chekhov's The Cherry Orchard. He is not my favourite Russian writer but it suits very well with the setting. Also the Cherry Orchard describes beautifully times of change.
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+"Perhaps man has a hundred senses, and when he dies the five senses that we know perish with him, and the other ninety-five remain alive... Everything that is unattainable for us now will one day be near and clear..."
+"All you ancestors were serf owners, owners of living souls. Do not human spirits look out at you from every leaf and stem?"
+“Going to see plays isn't what you people should do. Try looking at yourselves a little more often and see what grey lives you all lead. How much of what you say is unnecessary.”
+“But if we reason it out simply and not try to be one bit fancy, then what sort of pride can you possibly take or what's the sense of ever having it, if man is poorly put together as a physiological type and if the enormous majority of the human race is brutal, stupid, and profoundly unhappy?”
+“I know exactly the potential of the people around here. They have the potential to lie. They have the potential to deceive. They have the potential to inveigle. They’ll change nothing. Sometimes, when I can’t sleep, I lie awake thinking, my God! We have so much. We have these huge forests. We have boundless open fields. We can see the deepest, furthest horizons. Look around you. Look. We should be giants. We really, really aren’t.”
+“A hungry dog believes in nothing but meat.”
+A. Checkov "Cherry Orchard"
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+April-1 May
+My mother is visiting us. She is here already for a third week. It is great! Finally i have more time to spend with her as wel. Talking about old times and other family members. There is always a new twist or details to the stories that we talked about hundred times. It takes time to look at things from the perspective.
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+My mother is soon to be 70. She represents the generation that was building "the bright future" of Communism and then  lost everything that they lived for...Savings, habits, security... Walking with her in different Belgian cities i notice how unsure she feels about her self. Even the obvious things she questions if she got it right. And she still doesn't dare to just walk into the cafetaria and order a cup of coffee...as if she doesn't deserve it...
+The ghosts of Sint Pieters Church Gent
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+-24 April
+Working with Eisa on Host again.Such a complex piece to perform. It seems the build up of this work will never end. There is always new details, aspects of performing coming up. As much as i like working with movement and narratives on stage as much i dislike dealing with incompetence of technical team. Can't understand why can't they enjoy of creating something beautiful together with us. Instead there is always resistance, negotiations about things that can be fixed so easy yet you have to fight for it... The top of this time :"No the white beach chairs are not ok for this setting"....
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+Your great mistake is to act the drama
+as if you were alone. As if life
+were a progressive and cunning crime
+with no witness to the tiny hidden
+transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny
+the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely,
+even you, at times, have felt the grand array;
+the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding
+out your solo voice You must note
+the way the soap dish enables you,
+or the window latch grants you freedom.
+Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity.
+The stairs are your mentor of things
+to come, the doors have always been there
+to frighten you and invite you,
+and the tiny speaker in the phone
+is your dream-ladder to divinity.
+Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into
+the conversation. The kettle is singing
+even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots
+have left their arrogant aloofness and
+seen the good in you at last. All the birds
+and creatures of the world are unutterably
+themselves. Everything is waiting for you.
+  — David Whyte
+from Everything is Waiting for You
+©2003 Many Rivers Press
+Thank you Bart for this excerpt.
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